WHY LOYALTY IS NOT TELLING SOMEONE EVERYTHING THAT’S SAID ABOUT THEM…

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We have all had people speak badly about us behind our backs. Sometimes it was true, and sometime is wasn’t true.

If we are honest with ourselves, we have all done it ourselves at sometime or another.

Many times we will hear something said about someone we care about, someone we love or someone we respect and rush to let them know as soon as possible. But, is that always the right thing to do?

Is it always good for the wife to tell her husband what her dad said about him?

Is it always good to let one co-worker know what another co-worker said about them?

Is it always good to let one friend know what another mutual friend said about him or her?

Yes, I said ‘mutual’ friend. Some would contend to say that if they were a real friend they wouldn’t say anything negative, but that’s not true. Our love for one another isn’t perfect. Our friendships, marriages, families and relationships are not perfect. We all say and do things to hurt those close to us. When this happens it doesn’t mean that there is no love, it just means that our love isn’t perfect.

Loyalty is not always telling EVERYTHING that was said about someone. When is it appropriate? That’s where wisdom, discernment, discretion and restraint come into play.

We must also examine ourselves and our motives for telling them. Do we want them to know? Do we enjoy the excitement of telling them? Do we want them to dislike the person who said it? Why are we repeating it?

This is why God gave us this powerful, but often overlooked wisdom through these two Proverbs…

Proverbs 17:9 (NKJV)

9 He who covers a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates friends

Proverbs 16:28 (NKJV)

28 A perverse man sows strife,
And a whisperer separates the best of friends.

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Remember, some things are best left unsaid.

BE BLESSTIFIED!

15 thoughts on “WHY LOYALTY IS NOT TELLING SOMEONE EVERYTHING THAT’S SAID ABOUT THEM…”

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  1. Great insight. I need to examine myself in this regard.

    Here is another one to add to the list. “At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.” Paul to Timothy.

    Be blesstified! God is in a stunning mood.

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  2. Thank you, I needed to read this today. Especially these words:

    “Our love for one another isn’t perfect. Our friendships, marriages, families and relationships are not perfect. We all say and do things to hurt those close to us. When this happens it doesn’t mean that there is no love, it just means that our love isn’t perfect.”

    Amen!

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  3. You know how people are when not admitting being negative: I’m just being honest. Why isn’t it just as difficult to say: I’m trying to be positive and say something uplifting? So easy to say things that are hurtful. They might be ‘honest’ one day but an entirely different feeling the next. We have all seen this with ‘love’ relationships. They say things they don’t really mean. Sure, if we ran to tell them that junk, we’d being doing even more harm. run to tell someone something GOOD about them. IF they are like the rest of us, they could use it.

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  4. Amen! Sometimes for personal reasons we say things that are hurtful to others in the guise of being helpful. If it hurts someone, it is probably not helpful. Man oh man, it’s hard to tame the tongue, but so important! Stay blessed.

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  5. Wow. Praise the Lord! The more I think about it, the more I really love this post!

    I am writing a couple of books. After my “Growing Up Crazy” memoir that I’m currently working on is finished, I plan to write a second memoir entitled Mr. and Mrs. PTSD: Not Your Typical Love Story. My husband and I have both been diagnosed with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. His is from combat as a young U.S. Marine Corps rifleman in Vietnam, and mine stems from multiple traumas and abuses as a child and young adult.

    Two people with PTSD can make marriage extra challenging, at times. We have both found so much healing in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we can’t thank God enough for all He has done for us. But we are still not yet perfectly healed. And, as you say, human love and human relationships aren’t perfect, anyway!

    I am probably at least a year away from either of my books being ready to publish. But when that day comes (Lord willing, these books aren’t easy to write!), I would like to use what you said here as a quote for the epigraph page of Mr. and Mrs. PTSD. I would write it like this:

    “Our love for one another isn’t perfect. Our friendships, marriages, families and relationships are not perfect. We all say and do things to hurt those close to us. When this happens it doesn’t mean that there is no love, it just means that our love isn’t perfect.” –Minister Aldtric Johnson M.A., Author of the Be Blesstified blog

    Would this be agreeable to you? I would, of course, send you a free advanced copy of my book, when the time comes.

    Be Blesstified! (I just added that word to my tablet’s dictionary.) 🙂

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    1. Hello there. Yes, I would be honored if you use what God has placed in my heart in your book. It’s further confirmation for me to be obedient to share what He gives me. I enjoy your blog, and look forward to your book. Thanks so much for reaching out:-). Keep us the great work. I pray that God continues to give you and your husband a BLESSTIFIED marriage!

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  6. Reblogged this on A Blog About Healing From PTSD and commented:

    I told myself a couple of days ago that I need to stop reblogging so much, and write my own posts. But with most of my creative energy going into writing my memoirs these days, coming up with fresh words for my blog is not a top priority. Plus we are getting ready to sell our house to my husband’s daughter, who works at a nearby military base, and move to a house that will be more suitable for the two of us, near our friends and close to our new church. It’s an exciting time, and we are very grateful for this opportunity. But, oh — all the packing, moving, and cleaning we need to do…. Yikes!!! Please pray for us. And please also pray that my writing won’t get sidelined in the move!

    Minister Aldtric Johnson M.A., author of the Be Blesstified blog, has written a post that is so good, I just had to reblog it. My favorite part, which I hope to use as an epigraph in one of my memoirs, is this:

    “Our love for one another isn’t perfect. Our friendships, marriages, families and relationships are not perfect. We all say and do things to hurt those close to us. When this happens it doesn’t mean that there is no love, it just means that our love isn’t perfect.”

    Yes! This is so true! There is a huge difference between wrongs in a relationship that are dangerous, abusive, evil, and absolutely 100% unacceptable, and wrongs that are just part of being human. Sometimes, when you have been abused in the past, knowing where that line is can be a challenge.

    My husband and I both have PTSD, his from combat in Vietnam, mine from domestic wars in my childhood and early adulthood. Marriage between two fallible, but otherwise “normal” human beings, is hard enough. But when both parties have been placed on permanent disability due to severe and chronic Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, the challenges to the marital relationship can be severe at times.

    Thanks to our faith in the Lord and to a lot of helpful therapy, my husband and I have both come a long way in our healing journey. But, we still have a ways to go. Neither of us is perfectly healed. Not yet, anyway.

    And that’s where mercy and grace comes in. Love does not have to be perfect, to be good enough.

    Please visit Pastor Johnson’s terrific blog. Thank you for stopping by, and Be Blesstified!

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