Godly Marriage: THE BLESSING IN WHEN YOU’RE NOT ‘IN THE MOOD’ AT THE SAME TIME…

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Sex in marriage between a man and a woman is a beautiful blessing from the LORD, but it can also be the source of frustration.

One of greatest frustrations is when couples aren’t ‘on the same page’…when they aren’t in the mood at the same time. If this goes on and isn’t handled in the right way it can cause a huge strain on the relationship.

Now, I know there are many reasons why couples clash sexually, but God has revealed something amazing to me through 30 plus years of marriage.

There is a hidden blessing in when they aren’t on the same page that can actually enhance a marriage and sex life.

One of the things that makes dating so fun is the mystery. Some people even step outside their marriage to relive that excitement and mystery…

Do they like me?

Are they attracted to me?

Do they feel the same way I do?

Do they want me?

It leads to real dating. It leads to romancing one another. It leads to seduction.


But, here we go again with God’s hidden, often overlooked wisdom. I believe that He has created us to NOT be in the mood at the same time ALL the time.


DISCOVER THE HIDDEN BLESSING OF WHEN YOU AREN’T IN THE MOOD AT THE SAME TIME!

After years of marriage, being in the mood at the same time all of the time can become subtly boring. Always getting what you want when you want it sexually can actually become mundane and routine.

When managed correctly, not being on the same page can turn…

Frustration into Fantasy!

Crankiness into Creativity!

Anger into Anticipation!

Rudeness into Romance!

There are unmarried people who, even though it’s wrong, when pursuing sex from someone to whom they are attracted, have waited patiently for months planning…romancing…dating…seducing…trying to impress…doing what it takes PATIENTLY until they finally…

Get it…

Hit it…

Until they finally get their fantasies and passions reciprocated. Sometimes these same people don’t exercise the same level of patience once they are married.

Read the Song of Solomon and notice the level of excitement and anticipation in Godly marriage. Notice how the excitement builds as the bride seeks her love…

Song of Solomon 3:1-5  (NKJV)

3 By night on my bed I sought the one I love;
I sought him, but I did not find him.
“I will rise now,” I said,
“And go about the city;
In the streets and in the squares
I will seek the one I love.”
I sought him, but I did not find him.
The watchmen who go about the city found me;
I said,
“Have you seen the one I love?”

Scarcely had I passed by them,
When I found the one I love.
I held him and would not let him go,
Until I had brought him to the house of my mother,
And into the chamber of her who conceived me.

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
Do not stir up nor awaken love
Until it pleases.

Notice the excitement as Solomon praises his bride…

Song of Solomon 4:1-12  (NKJV)

4 Behold, you are fair, my love!
Behold, you are fair!
You have dove’s eyes behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats,
Going down from Mount Gilead.
Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep
Which have come up from the washing,
Every one of which bears twins,
And none is barren among them.
Your lips are like a strand of scarlet,
And your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
Are like a piece of pomegranate.
Your neck is like the tower of David,
Built for an armory,
On which hang a thousand bucklers,
All shields of mighty men.
Your two breasts are like two fawns,
Twins of a gazelle,
Which feed among the lilies.

Until the day breaks
And the shadows flee away,
I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh
And to the hill of frankincense.

You are all fair, my love,
And there is no spot in you.
Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse,
With me from Lebanon.
Look from the top of Amana,
From the top of Senir and Hermon,
From the lions’ dens,
From the mountains of the leopards.

You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
10 How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
11 Your lips, O my spouse,
Drip as the honeycomb;
Honey and milk are under your tongue;
And the fragrance of your garments
Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

12 A garden enclosed
Is my sister, my spouse,
A spring shut up,
A fountain sealed.

Discuss this with your spouse.

Admit that you won’t always be on the same page all the time.

Agree to be patient with one another when this occurs.

Pray that God doesn’t allow the devil to have a foothold in your marriage when it happens.

Make the most of those moments by allowing them to create…

Renewed fantasies of one another…

To restore excitement and anticipation…

To bring back the mystery and thrill of the discovery that ‘he or she feels like I do’…’wants me like I want him or her’…’that we are on the same page.’

Because whether it be because of an argument or not being on the same page, we all know how goooooooood it can be after it’s been a while. Can I get an amen:-)

BE BLESSTIFIED!

 

 

 

 

 

STAYING ENCOURAGED CAN BE HARD WORK…

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Have you ever been tired and didn’t know why?

You’re not sad. You’re not depressed. You trust God. You even laugh and smile though everything isn’t ideal in your life.

You’re tired, yet still lie awake at night.

Are you stressed? No, not really because you trust God.

When someone tells you, “Be encouraged!” You say, “You know what? When I think about it…I really am encouraged.”

So why are you tired? Why do you feel drained?

That’s why…because you ARE encouraged.

Sometimes, it takes great effort to stay encouraged.


Being encouraged in difficult circumstances takes more than just ‘mustard seed faith’.

Staying encouraged can be spiritual, mental and psychological HEAVY LIFTING.


Especially when you’re not only carrying the weight of your own burdens, but you’re also encouraging those around you.

How many times have you been down and either no one else knew, or you knew there was nothing that no one else could do? So, you encouraged yourself in the Lord.

If you’re both tired but encouraged today, I pray that God renews your strength and refreshes  your mind body and spirit in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

BE BLESSTIFIED!

 

WHEN YOU AREN’T FRIENDS, BUT YOU AREN’T ENEMIES EITHER…

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This is where most people are in our lives…

We work with them…

They are our neighbors…

We like the same teams…

We have the same political opinions…

We even go to church with them.

You’re cordial. You’re polite. You can hold a conversation. You can work together towards a goal…but you definitely aren’t friends.

You don’t enjoy being together.

You don’t have any loyalty towards one another.

You don’t particularly care what they think about you.

BUT,

You don’t hate them.

You don’t work against one another.

You don’t have any ill will towards them, nor do they to you.

These are the people that we need to learn to disagree with without becoming enemies.

I pray you have at least a few good friends.

I hope you have even fewer enemies.

But, most people you know will be neither.

Proverbs 12:26 (NKJV)

The righteous should choose his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads them astray.

 

HOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO HATE SOMEONE TO NOT LOVE THEM…

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They say there’s a thin line between love and hate.

It may not be that the line is so thin, but that people should be totally honest with themselves, because God knows the heart. The fact is…


YOU DON’T HAVE TO HATE SOMEONE TO NOT LOVE THEM


The enemy knows that God commanded us to love everyone….

Everyone means everyone.

That’s why he (the enemy) manipulates situations and circumstances to provoke us to NOT LOVE someone who mistreats us, or someone we close to us.


The enemy convinces people to engage in behavior to where what we feel for them may not be HATE, but it’s definitely not LOVE.


He then he manipulates you to lie to yourself and say “I love everybody” because it’s the right thing to say, but your feelings and behavior don’t reflect love.

God didn’t tell us to LIKE everyone…but to LOVE everyone.

Just as Jesus says in Matthew 5:46, even evil people love those who love them.

So, we must be very careful to be honest with ourselves and WATCH THE LOVE LINE! Make sure that what you feel doesn’t CROSS the line from LOVE to NOT LOVE to HATE. The bible says it is impossible to truly love God who we can’t see and hate one another who we can see…

1 John 4:20  (NKJV)

20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can[a] he love God whom he has not seen?

Examine yourself, and be honest about your feelings. Give yourself what I like to call the TEST FOR LOVE. It’s easy to find in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7…

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  (NKJV)

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
If what you feel and your behavior towards everyone doesn’t measure up to the criteria in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7…then it’s not love. And, if it’s not love, in God’s eyes, it’s not enough. And, remember, if you have trouble loving those who may seem they don’t deserve our love, ask yourself, what have you done to deserve God’s love?

BE BLESSTIFIED!!!

WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO EXPLAIN HOW GOD IS REAL…

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John 6:30  (NKJV)

30 Therefore they said to Him, “What sign will You perform then, that we may see it and believe You? What work will You do?

The Pharisees, Scribes, and skeptics continually asked Jesus for a sign, while totally ignoring all of the miracles that He performed.

The fact is that they had signs all around them and refused to see them, in fact they couldn’t see them because their hearts were hard.

The story is the same today.

People say that they don’t believe in God because they can’t see Him. People want an EXPLANATION FOR GOD. They want physical evidence of God.

Jesus told Nicodemus…

John 3:8  (NKJV)

The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

People feel they don’t need an explanation for the wind because even though they can’t see it, we see evidence of the world reacting to its presence (trees swaying etc.) and we can feel it.

No one has to explain the wind.

Wow, then why can’t they accept the same for God? Unbelievers want an explanation.

Well…

Romans 1:20  (NKJV)

20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,

God proves Himself not only through everything He created, but the remarkable order of His creation. Nature…life…the universe in all its splendor is evidence of God, but man wants to attribute it to some random act.

In fact, it takes the same amount of faith in the wisdom of man to believe that the sun is 93 million miles away, with no way to actually measure or prove it, as it does to believe that God is real based on the bible.

Just as the Pharisees, some people can’t believe because their hearts are hard, as implied by…

1 Corinthians 2:13-14  (NKJV)

13 These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy[a] Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. 14 But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.


Think about this. The internet is ‘everywhere’, and transmits enormous amounts of information and knowledge. You can be on your laptop, smartphone, tablet, television and be ‘on’ the same internet. You can be at home, work, Tennessee, Europe or in orbit, and it’s the same internet. The internet is almost ‘everywhere at the same time’ and accessible when you’re connected. Sounds a lot like God doesn’t it? If people can believe in and accept an almost ‘omnipresent’, created by humans, they should be able to believe in and omnipresent, omniscient (all-knowing) who created us.


Can you see the internet? No.

Can you feel the internet? No.

Can you touch the internet? No.

Can you smell the internet? No.

Can you hear the internet? No.

Be bold in your belief in God the Father of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, because atheists and agnostics are bold in their stance.

So, when someone asks you to explain how God is real, simply respond…

“With all of the evidence around us, explain to me that He’s not”.

BE BLESSTIFIED!

WHEN YOU FEEL THREATENED, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO NEXT…

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This happened time and time again…Jesus would heal and the religious leaders would seek to kill Him…

John 5:12-16  (NKJV)

12 Then they asked him, “Who is the Man who said to you, ‘Take up your bed and walk’?” 13 But the one who was healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had withdrawn, a multitude being in that place. 14 Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.” 15 The man departed and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had made him well. 16 For this reason the Jews persecuted Jesus, and sought to kill Him,[a] because He had done these things on the Sabbath.

The truth is that the religious leaders felt threatened by Jesus. They were threatened because they could not deny the authority with which He spoke and certainly could not deny the miracles that He did. They could see the peoples’ hearts turning to Jesus, and they did not like it.

They felt that Jesus threatened their authority…

They felt that Jesus threatened their influence…

They felt that Jesus threatened their affluence…

And, the enemy used that as an opportunity to influence them. Once threatened, they very well could have considered the scriptures, believed and been blessed just as those who submitted…

 Luke 5:17  (NKJV)

17 Now it happened on a certain day, as He was teaching, that there were Pharisees and teachers of the law sitting by, who had come out of every town of Galilee, Judea, and Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was present to heal them.

However, rather than humble themselves and submit, they felt threatened. They let feeling threatened turn to anger. They let their anger turn to wrath. They let their wrath turn to action, and even though they unwittingly fulfilled the scriptures, unless they repented, they will receive the reward of their actions – that began with feeling threatened…

Romans 6:23 (NKJV)

23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So, please, please, please (in my James Brown voice) be very careful when you feel threatened. Yes, we have a natural and spiritual right to protect ourselves, but don’t let the enemy have a foothold through you feeling threatened.

When you feel someone is threatening…

Your family…

Your marriage…

Your job…

Your influence…

Your position…

Your reputation…

Your rights…

Your money…

Your ‘way of life’…

Even your life!

Be very careful how you react. Be careful how you respond. Be careful who you talk to. Be careful of with whom you align yourself.

Don’t let your emotions get the best of you and bring out the worst in you. Think about the times that Jesus, the Son of God, felt threatened before His time…

Luke 4:28-31  (NKJV)

28 So all those in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, 29 and rose up and thrust Him out of the city; and they led Him to the brow of the hill on which their city was built, that they might throw Him down over the cliff. 30 Then passing through the midst of them, He went His way.

John 10:38-39  (NKJV)

38 but if I do, though you do not believe Me, believe the works, that you may know and believe[a] that the Father is in Me, and I in Him.” 39 Therefore they sought again to seize Him, but He escaped out of their hand.


ALWAYS RESPOND IN WISDOM AND NOT WRATH


God has promised that maintaining your spiritual integrity, uprightness and waiting on God will protect you…

Psalm 25:21  (NKJV)

21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I wait for You.

BE BLESSTIFIED!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE WORST POISON ISN’T WHAT YOU DRINK, BUT WHAT YOU THINK…

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For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7a (NKJV)

What have you THOUGHT yourself out of?

What has God placed on your mind that you killed before it got started?

Whatever ministry, good works, kindness or purpose God gives to you, it begins with a simple thought that He places in your mind.

1 Corinthians 2:16b boldly informs us that “We have the mind of Christ”.

How awesome is that?

When we are led by God, and walking in His Spirit, He GIVES us HIS thoughts! How else could a preacher give a relevant word? How else can any child of God minister, unless he or she have the mind of Christ? Anytime you feel compelled to do good, to do the right thing…begins with a thought from God.

And, the enemy’s goal is to KILL those Godly thoughts.

Yes the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, but not necessarily kill your life…

He wants to kill your purpose…

Steal your vision and…

Destroy your witness and reputation…

Even ruin your family!


DON’T LET THE DEVIL POISON YOUR THOUGHT LIFE!


Don’t let evil thoughts turn into evil deeds. Every act of sin begins with a thought.

Remember…

 Philippians 4:8,

“8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

Don’t poison your life with toxic thoughts!

BE BLESSTIFIED!!!

HOW PRAYER CAN IMMEDIATELY HELP YOU MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION…

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If its something that you feel uncomfortable praying about first, you probably…

Don’t need to do it.

Don’t need to say it.

Don’t need to go.

Don’t need to buy it.

Psalm 32:8-9  (NKJV)

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.


If it’s something you can’t ask God to bless or protect you need to leave it alone.

It it’s something you would be ashamed for your angel, the one that God has assigned to protect and minister to you, see you doing – you need to NOT DO IT.


Hebrews 1:13-14  (NKJV)

13 But to which of the angels has He ever said:

“Sit at My right hand,
Till I make Your enemies Your footstool”?

14 Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?

If it’s something you feel you will need to ask God to forgive you afterward…let it go.

Proverbs 3:6  (NKJV)

In ALL your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[a] your paths.

 

BE BLESSTIFIED!

GODLY MARRIAGE: HOW SEX IS SUBMISSION AND HONOR PERFECTED (Graphic but Holy)…

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Sex is a beautiful, rewarding blessing given to man and woman, but meant to be enjoyed responsibly within the bounds of marriage. His word makes that clear in both the Old and New Testaments…and it’s joys are evident throughout…

Proverbs 5:18-19 (NKJV)

18 Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love

 Song of Solomon 1:2 (NKJV)

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
For your[b] love is better than wine.

 1 Corinthians 7:1-3 (NKJV)

7 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband

It is intended to be the highest level of human intimacy physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually.

It is a connection that makes two become one, and the only diversion that our God who made creation in consistent numerical order diverts from the norm. It’s when we multiply by adding, and the product/sum is unique in all mathematics (when 1 + 1 =3).

Genesis 1:28 (NKJV)

28 Then God BLESSED them, and God said to them, “Be FRUITFUL and MULTIPLY; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

His holy intent for this union is perverted when consummated outside the bond of marriage…

1 Corinthians 6:16 (NKJV)

16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”[a]

 Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV)

Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

God created us physiologically and psychologically so that sex would be the perfection of the submission and honor that He commands from wives and husbands respectfully…


WIVES


 1 Peter 3:1a

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands…

Think of how God created woman so sexual intercourse can only take place through her perfect submission. Graphic but true: as the King James Version puts it, a man can only ‘know his wife’ (Genesis 4:1) unless he physically accesses her most intimate spot. Where is this located? Between her legs…not in the front…not in the back, but between her legs closer to the middle. The ONLY way he can get to that spot is if she allows him. This access is the ultimate act of submission, granted most often by her opening her legs to him. She must open herself to receive her husband into her. But, her psychological state of mind must be submitted also. Even if he is allowed physical access, she also has to submit psychologically to allow arousal. Her mind must be submitted to her husband, as well as attracted to him physically in order for her to most intimate spot to ‘react’ properly to accommodate him to both their enjoyment ( I think you know what I mean). God created woman, so that total physical and mental submission is required for sex.


HUSBANDS


 1 Peter 3:7a (NKJV)

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel…

God commanded that husband honor their wives. Of course, in most cases,  man is the stronger sex. As much as a woman was created for submission for sex to take place, a man is strong enough to force himself on her. When a man forces himself on a woman she’s not submitting and he’s not honoring, married or not, this is rape. God commands the husband to honor her as the weaker person in the relationship. When a man submits to his wife by restraining his strength and allowing her to submit, this is one way he honors her as the weaker vessel. Not by forcing her legs open. Not by forcing himself inside her. Only by allowing her to become aroused through physical and mental submission and physical attraction.

Submission and honor. Honor and submission. Without both, sex becomes something dreadful rather than something beautiful. It becomes a curse rather than a blessing. But, when it works perfectly, it’s not only how God’s wisdom provided for us to be fruitful and multiply, it’s also a wonderful gift to help keep couples close and marriages strong. For more on this please read….IF THE ‘BIG O’ WAS TOO BIG (GOD’S WISDOM)…

Submit to one another. Honor one another. And,

BE BLESSTIFIED!

 

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