Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV)

31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you



Isn’t it funny how some of us can claim to be more than conquerors…

Be filled with the Holy Spirit…

Blessed and highly favored…

Testifying every time we can get a chance…

Claim, “I love everybody!”…

…And REFUSE to forgive!

We can serve as a deacon, preach every weekend, sing in the choir, give to the poor…BUT WON’T FORGIVE.

There are preachers who get up and preach to some members whose souls they are responsible…and are withholding forgiveness from some of them.

Too many of us are holding on to…








What ever emotions, moods and attitudes that prevent us from FORGIVING.

Withholding forgiveness is one of the enemy’s most successful distractions.

We can’t love like God expects us to when we don’t forgive.

The enemy doesn’t mind you going to church or even serving in the Kingdom of God if you don’t forgive because it dims the light of God in you.

WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD (Matthew 5:14)…We can’t be light if we are DISTRACTED! Being unforgiving is a distraction…

Think about this…

The SUN provides light & the MOON reflects…

Sometimes Moon blocks light from Sun…This is an eclipse.

Sometimes Man blocks light from Son…This is a spiritual eclipse.

Distractions block eclipse our light from the SON…

Anger is a spiritual eclipse…

Bitterness is a spiritual eclipse…

Being unforgiving is a spiritual eclipse!

Our marriages, families…relationships CAN NOT exist WITHOUT forgiveness, but sometimes it’s so hard because of the pain…Because we are flesh.

Matthew 26:41 (NKJV)

41 Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

God understands we are flesh, but he also expects more from us. It is not God’s will for us to go day in and day out holding on to STUFF!

Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV)

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.


We can put effort into ‘conquering’ everything, but forginvenss….getting a house, car, job, promotion, man, woman, getting a closet full of shoes, purses, ties…our neighborhoods full of crime, immorality, poverty, while many Christians are worried about conquering the ‘good life’.

That’s why some of us give, just so we can get….to some giving is a BLE$$ING bill. That’s why sometimes cousins, sisters, brothers  and relatives keep coming asking for money cause that’s the only way God can get some people to spend money on someone besides themselves. Does anyone owe you money and you haven’t forgiven them?

The enemy knows God ONLY forgives us AS we forgive others…(Matthew 6:12)

That means if there is something that you haven’t forgiven someone for…your sin that you asked forgiveness for is still there.

Don’t let someone die before you let them know THEY ARE FORGIVEN!

Is anyone you refuse to forgive WORTH forfeiting your forgiveness over? Don’t let your feelings towards them come between you and God.

Remember, there’s someone out there that you have hurt too…

You may not know what you did, but most of the time you do!


The enemy knows how to present the right situation to you…

The right person…

That one thing that he knows that’s most difficult for you to forgive…

That’s the thing that he will use.

It could be your wife, your husband, your sister or brother, mother or father, best friend…it could be a pastor, that job who fired you, that team that didn’t pick you….you know what it is.

Stop right now and think about that one thing you are still holding on to.


Think about how much we hurt God and He forgives us…

Psalm 103:8-12 (NKJV)

8 The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
9 He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.
11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.


We (his church) are the bride of Christ…we ‘cheat on God’ every time we sin/ That’s why I know we can even forgive infidelity.

Every shameful thing done in the presence of His angels supposed to be there to protect you

He is there when we are tempted

He is there when we think about the fact that this is wrong and we still decide to do it

He is there when we do it.

That same conversation that the enemy had with God about Job, he had about you…Consider my servant ____________ !

Job 1:8a (NKJV)

Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job…”

God witnesses us every time we cheat on Him…Every time we put Him to open shame…

He is willing to forgive us…

How could He be so willing to forgive? Because He WANTS to forgive us!

Isaiah 1:18

“Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool…

God is practically begging us to come to Him for forgiveness.

 God wants to forgive you! God gets angry, but He doesn’t stay angry!

Psalm 103:8-9 (KKJV)

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.

God can forgive us over and over because He DESIRES to do so! And He doesn’t WANT to stay angry.

God CHOOSES to forgive us!

Forgiveness is OUR CHOICE.

You can’t control how people treat you, but you can control how you react.

When we are honest with ourselves, we don’t forgive because WE DON’T WANT TO.. WE want to stay angry!

If we forgive…we take away our ‘excuse’ to be angry…

You can even hear the person who hurt you has made a change for the good, and it can make you angry…you don’t want them to do better. This can lead you to judge them saying, “They’re change isn’t sincere!” You can get to the point that you don’t even care about their salvation.

We don’t want to forgive due to our pain…

We don’t want to forgive because of our pride…

We don’t want to forgive because of our shame…

No matter how heavy it is, uncomfortable it is…we still hold on to it, because we want to do so! When our arms up…after a while we have to put it down, because they get too heavy

That’s what we have to do with our pain…put it down.


Stop asking God to TAKE AWAY what He told you to PUT DOWN!

If your spouse is cheating, and you love them, do you want to make them stop, or for them to stop on their own?

Notice God Always tells you to put it down…

Colossians 3:8 (NKJV)

But now YOU YOURSELVES are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

Hebrews 12:1 (NKJV)

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,


No matter how slow or gradual any transition may seem…when you think about it, the change…the moment of change…the instant of change…no matter how minute the shift in thought or direction – THE CHANGE IS ALWAYS INSTANT!


This is simple but powerful…


I’m tired of being angry…

I’m tired of being sad…

I’m tired of being bitter…

I’m tired of being resentful…

I’m tired of avoiding them…

I’m tired of wanting everybody else to be mad at them too…


Romans 12…Be transformed by the renewing of you MIND!

Refuse to let your emotions dictate how you feel and behave.

Controlling your EMOTIONS is the closest you can come to controlling your world.

Hebrews 12…How did Jesus react to Emotion? He “scorned” the shame of the cross for the “joy” thats set before him.

Once you make up your mind, and REFUSE to be angry….it will go away.

Once you make up your mind, and REFUSE to be angry….you can forgive.

Once you make up your mind, and REFUSE to be angry…you can forget.

Let me define forget…you will still think of it, but not the same way! You will forget that frame of mind…such as “What was I thinking when I dated him or her!”

Once you make up your mind, and REFUSE to be angry…you won’t even need an apology.

Why do you not need an apology? Because God still keeps showing you His love and kindness…even when you haven’t apologized or repented…

He keeps letting your heart beat…

He keeps feeding you and letting you live in the home He provided…

He keeps giving you strength to work…

He keeps on protecting you from harm…

He’s willing to forgive, even when He knows you will do it again.

One of the best exercises you can have in patience is to hold it together when you are being mistreated. Going on without an apology…showing character and patience of God will help you grow.

Once you make up your mind, and REFUSE to be angry…you can actually feel sorry for the one who hurt you. GUESS what? You are doing what God does! You are learning to love and learning to forgive like GOD!

That’s how you can even feel sorry for your enemies.

Jesus died on the cross to give the opportunity of salvation to those He knew would not only ask appreciate it, ask Him for forgiveness, or even believe in Him.

Exercise in forgiveness…Pray for God’s Spirit and Get a picture or go to a place, whatever reminds you of your pain. And practice looking at it and telling yourself..I don’t want to be mad at you…I don’t want to be bitter…sad and tell yourself that you won’t…

That’s what God does to us.

Sometimes people will try you back acting like they DON’T APPRECIATE YOUR FORGIVENESS…Be strong, cause that’s how we treat God sometimes.

Let your light shine…Get back your peace….Forgive as God is willing to forgive you!


















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