This piece isn’t intended to judge anyone for their level of reaction on social media. Any of us who participate have people with whom we’ve connected that get less reaction than others, and we really mean no harm.

So that being said, we all noticed that some friends react heavily to your birthday and family posts, but not so much when you’re sharing your accomplishments, creativity, humor, inspiration etc.

Sometimes people even get ‘in their feelings’ and announce that they are ‘removing’ friends and followers who aren’t engaged. We have all probably noticed ‘ADD FRIEND’ on someone’s page that you thought you were already connected…because they removed you.

So, here are 7 reasons why some of your friends refrain from reacting to your posts..

1. They don’t know you like that…

Yes, you’re friends. You have mutual friends that you may know or not REALLY know, but you’re not in each others ‘circle’ of REAL friends with whom you interact on a regular basis. The fact is that you know OF each other, but don’t really KNOW each other. So, don’t take it personal. Think of the friends in your social media circle that you don’t really know. How often to you react to their posts?

2. YOU post too much for them…

Notice that the heading says YOU post too much, and not you POST too much. Sometimes people get tired of YOUR posts, while they may react very frequently to someone else’s. They might not even know why, but for some reason they get tired of seeing YOUR posts. Sooo, this is ‘somewhat’ personal but not necessarily malicious.

3. They’re annoyed by your ACCOMPLISHMENTS, CREATIVITY, , MARRIAGE, HUMOR, POLITICS, INSPIRATION, COMPLAINING or FAITH…

When we step back and look at what we share, most of the time it’s centered around one or two themes…the pursuit of our passions, our accomplishments, our faith, happy marriages, complaining, politics or encouraging others. Many times we can almost predict what someone’s post will be about when we see their names. Personally my ‘friends’ react far less frequently to posts about my wife’s music, my blog or inspiration, but they react heavily to birthday and family posts. But, as I said, I catch myself doing the same thing.

4. They’re stealing from your creativity…

Many times your friends and followers aren’t ignoring you at all. They really secretly LOVE your content… your inspiration… your opinions… your creativity. They like it so much that while they don’t acknowledge they’ve seen your posts, they ‘steal’ from your creativity… They use your quotes without quoting that you said it first…. They use your thoughts in their conversations, speeches, sermons, songs, etc… and they don’t want you to know they saw that it originated with you. It’s one thing to be inspired by someone, and another thing to ‘steal’ from their creativity.

5. They don’t like you, but can’t disconnect from you…

Some people will see your caption, image or video and move their finger to react, then when they see it’s YOU, they keep scrolling instead. They don’t necessarily hate you (but they also just might) but for some reason don’t react but won’t disconnect. They enjoy ‘not liking you’. They enjoy using you posts as excuses to talk about you to others. Your posts are fuel for their attitude against you and provide material for conversations. They LOVE to HATE you. Disconnecting or ‘unfriending’ you would actually make their life a little more boring.

6. They don’t consider you to be a PEER but love to PEER at your posts…

You may be in the same profession. You may share common interests. You may feel that you are they’re PEER OR equal, but they still love to PEER or look at your posts. As an associate minister and blogger, SOME but not all of my Senior Pastor connections on social media may not consider me to be a PEER or their equal in the ministry, but that doesn’t mean they don’t sometimes VIEW, are inspired by and sometimes use my content.

7. They just don’t notice…

We all have people within our social media circles who we just simply don’t notice their posts. As they scroll looking for certain people or topics, they may miss some people in their circle. They don’t mean any harm…I think we all do this sometimes.

This short list is by no means exhaustive. Again, think about the reasons you may not react as much to some people in your circle. So, before you disconnect from people who don’t react as much as you like…think about the reasons you’re on social media. And, remember, don’t base you life and happiness on what happens there.

And remember that Jesus let us know that all of us are fickle at our best…

John 2:23-24 (NIV)

²³ Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs he was performing and believed in his name.^[a] 24 But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people.

5 REASONS WHY PEOPLE MAY NOT WANT TO TAKE ADVICE FROM YOU…

WHY BEING IGNORED IS ONE OF THE GREATEST ACTS OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT…

BEFORE YOU UNFRIEND, BLOCK OR DELETE YOUR ‘MESSY’ FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK…

BE BLESSTIFIED!

I recently heard two successful businessmen, on separate occasions, ‘joke’ about being away from home so much. They both eluded to fact that their families are actually glad when they ARE NOT at home, and dread seeing them return. It reminded me of someone confessing to me years ago that some days, they wished their spouse would have a fatal accident on the way home…they have a strong happy marriage today though.

Family life, whether it’s just two, but especially if there’s several people in the house can be challenging. No matter what’s going on, what energy to you bring into the house…positive or negative?

Everyone brings negativity and dysfunction SOMETIMES, but at TIMES it’s SOME more than others. It can cause people who genuinely love one another to dread seeing each other.

Dad or mom may be grumpy…for whatever reason…

Husband or wife neglecting responsibilities…

The children may be unappreciative or feel neglected…

The siblings may feel one is favored over the other…

Someone in the family responding too harshly…

The daily challenges of work, school and life may be brought home…

Arguments might end without apologies or closure…

Unspoken grievances and complaints with one another fester…

Personal flaws, faults and idiosyncrasies cause harsh feelings towards one another.

For whatever reason, good or bad, justified or unjustified…sometimes each of us can be very hard to live with. Sometimes we ALL can make home life unpleasant. It can become a vicious cycle of responses to behavior that no one even remembers where it started.

This is why sometimes people may either say, or quietly think to themselves, Wow! It sure is more peaceful in the house when ________________ isn’t at home!

Love (just like God’s unselfish, sacrificial love) is the glue that holds families together, and love is always most powerful as a VERB rather than a NOUN.

Real love isn’t just when we are laughing, joking and treasuring one another, but when we are stretching one another’s patience to the limit. When we dread confronting one another, when we are at odds, but still want to be around one another. Real love is being the one who can stop the vicious cycle of reactions to bad behavior with good behavior.

God has solutions in His word to help encourage peace and harmony in the home, and he leaves all of us responsible and accountable. Here are a few scriptures that I have pulled that should relate to everyone…of course this is not exhaustive. There are many more scriptures and accounts in the bible to teach us how to have peace in the house and enjoy one another.  Read the verses, if anything applies to you, do your part to keep peace in your house, and remember that 1 Peter 4:8 teaches us, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS”.  And, that 1 Corinthians 13:8 exhorts that “LOVE NEVER FAILS…”

When our relationships fail, it’s not because love has failed, it’s because we failed love.

 1 Peter 3:7

⁷ Husbands, likewise, dwell with them(wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

 

1 Peter 3:1-2

 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,² when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 

 

1 Corinthians 7:2-5

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

 

Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: ³ “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” ⁴ And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

 

1 Timothy 5:8

⁸ But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

 

Ephesians 4:32

³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

BE BLESSTIFIED!!=

 

We have all been the antagonist in at least one chapter of someone’s story.

We’re not always the hero.

We’re not always the victim.

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SOMETIMES, WE WERE THE DARK SIDE!

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Sometimes we were the monster.

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OUR CULTURE SOMETIMES CREATES MONSTERS WHO THINK THEY’RE HEROES! WE FIND WAYS TO MAKE OURSELVES FEEL BETTER WHEN WE WERE WRONG.

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How many people have you given a good reason to hate you?

How many people has the enemy used you as a stumbling block?

Sometimes we were Pharaoh.

Sometimes we were Peter.

Sometimes we were Judas.

Always be willing to forgive, even when you feel they do deserve it, because there’s always someone who feels we don’t. HOW TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT AN APOLOGY ( 8 TIPS)…

Think about all the times God watched us deny, and betray Him…yet He still is always ready to forgive us.

He expects us to do the same.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (CJB)

³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, violent assertiveness and slander, along with all spitefulness. ³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted; and forgive each other, just as in the Messiah God has also forgiven you.

SOME OF OUR ‘HATERS’ HATE US BECAUSE WE’VE GIVEN THEM A GOOD REASON…

Is there someone that you owe an apology? And, remember if the offense was public, the apology should be public as well.

WHY A PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT DESERVES A PUBLIC APOLOGY…

BE BLESSTIFIED!

Have you taken a close look at your circles?

You know…

The people who are closest to you. The people who you enjoy being around most, and who most enjoy being around you.

Our circles really say quite a bit about who we are.

It’s interesting to see YOUR place in YOUR circles. All circles have those who have the greatest influence…they are the leaders. And, some have those who are either followers, or just glad to be in a group of people like them.

I think that people can be defined by three types of circles. Circles with people who are:

Surviving…

Thriving…

And,

Nosediving…

SURVIVING

These people have one basic thing in common. They are all making it. They are all getting by, but they are all JUST getting by. They are doing what it takes to survive, and there’s not much more time or money to do anything else. Some are content with this and some aren’t, but they are all just surviving. Within, the group of ‘survivors’ there are still some who are ‘surviving’ better than the others in the group. If this is you, where do you fall in place with your group of survivors?

THRIVING

This group also one thing in common…they are all doing extraordinarily well. They are living in ‘overflow’ of everything they need and the freedom, ability and access to what they want. But, much like the NBA team with players who are superstars, while others are multi-million dollar superstars…they are all in the same prosperous circle, but some are prospering much better than others. If this is you, where do you fall in your thriving circle?

NOSEDIVING

This circle’s common denominator is struggle. Not only is surviving a struggle for those in this circle, but it seems that everyone seems to be losing ground. They aren’t necessarily lazy, but some may be. They may work hard. They may even be wise, but have unfortunate circumstances. Even in this group, some are losing ground faster than others. And, within this circle are leaders and those who have greater influence. It this is you, where are you in your circle?

What ever your circle may be, you can still be a light for God…you can still be a positive influence. Because the truth is that these circles will always exist…

And, God needs to be found in all of them.

Remember this…

1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)

³³ Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

So, no matter what your circle, make sure that you aren’t just the GOOD influence, make sure you’re the GOD influence.

BE BLESSTIFIED!