What offends you? Disrespect? Seeing others hurt? Injustice? Intolerance? Insults? Sometimes when led by God we’re offended by evil. And sometimes, when being influenced by the enemy we’re offended by good – all of us.
We all get offended. And, many times we have a right to be offended – even justified in being offended.
But, we must use Godly wisdom in how we respond to being offended. We just first be honest with ourselves as to whether we are being offended by good or evil. The Pharisees were constantly offended by Jesus. They were offended by good…
Matthew 15:1-13 (NKJV)
Then the scribes and Pharisees who were from Jerusalem came to Jesus, saying, 2 “Why do Your disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread.”
3 He answered and said to them, “Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition? 4 For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; [a] and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’[b] 5 But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God”— 6 then he need not honor his father or mother.’[c] Thus you have made the commandment[d] of God of no effect by your tradition. 7 Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:
8 ‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And[e] honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me.
9 And in vain they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ ”[f]
10 When He had called the multitude to Himself, He said to them, “Hear and understand: 11 Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”
12 Then His disciples came and said to Him, “Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?”
13 But He answered and said, “Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted.
One of the most powerful things you can do is exercise the emotional control of not letting someone know how they have offended you.
If you really want to know what someone is really like. If you really want to know what’s inside someone’s heart…let them think that ‘nothing really offends you’. That’s when they will feel comfortable to share what’s really inside them. That’s when they will reveal to you who they really are. That’s when you can with wisdom ‘meet them where they are’. That’s when you will know how to manage your relationship with them…whether it be family, co-worker, friend, associate or even an enemy.
One of the powerful attributes of being emotionally intelligent is the fact than when you learn to control your emotions, you can actually control the emotions of those around you.
Controlling your emotions is a powerful way to control your world.
Emotional Intelligence is behavioral science that aligns perfectly with scripture.
Even the bible teaches us to…
Ephesians 4:31 (NKJV)
31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
1 Peter 2:1 (NKJV)
2 Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking,
God teaches us to ‘put away’ our bitterness and anger. It teaches us to lay aside our malice. Remember this that…
Controlled anger shouldn’t turn into wrath, but into action.
When you don’t let some offend you, or when you control your emotions when offended you gain the upper hand. Many the offender is speaking or acting out of emotion, which if not controlled puts them at a disadvantage. At the very least they are more transparent of their true heart, intentions, motives and self.
You aren’t showing weakness by not letting someone know just how much they have offended you. You are showing your true strength. You’re showing the same strength that our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus displayed each and every time He controlled His anger. You are displaying the same strength that our God displays when He withholds His wrath.
So, don’t shut them up. Let them run their mouth and continue to let you know what’s inside them, and be led by who is inside you.
The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression.
Proverbs 19:11 NKJV
LikeLiked by 1 person
I used different words telling my teenage son the same today but you put it much better than I did. In my world it is called giving someone the rope to hang themself by. It is amazing what people will say when they think they have an attentive audience and in that they show their true colours.
LikeLiked by 1 person