Do you know anyone who tries to get affirmation and
validation by claiming that they don’t need it? Have you ever heard anyone say
that? Have you said it yourself?
People usually say this because they are really ‘in their
feelings’ because they want affirmation, validation or appreciation and feel
they aren’t getting it.
Yes, it’s good to be confident in who you are and not need
anyone else to tell you, but the truth of the matter is that God created us for
relationship, and one aspect of relationship is affirmation from others.
Whether we admit or not, we all need validation and
affirmation sometimes. We give God affirmation and validation by praising Him.
GOD LOVES PRAISE!
Praise is affirmation of His greatness, holiness,
sovereignty, justice…His love for us and our love for Him.
GOD LOVES PRAISE and there’s nothing wrong with that.
So here’s the thing…
We all need a little praise sometimes too. We all need affirmation
sometimes. We all need validation sometimes…especially by those who are closest
Do you know why?
Because we were all created in God’s image, and it is our
duty to affirm Him with our praise.
Does God NEED our affirmation to be God? Absolutely not! He
has Holy angels to declare His greatness day and night…
8 The four living creatures, each having six wings, were
full of eyes around and within. And they do not rest day or night, saying:
“Holy,[a] holy, holy,
Lord God Almighty,
Who was and is and is to come!
God teaches us to honor our parents in the Lord…Affirmation.
Ephesians 6:1 (NKJV)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
The bible teaches us to esteem others better than ourselves….Affirmation.
Philippians 2:3 (NKJV)
3 Let nothing be done through selfish
ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others
better than himself.
We’re told ordain those set aside for the ministry by the
laying on of hands…Affirmation.
The key is to not feel disqualified by God when we don’t
receive affirmation, and certainly don’t let it go to our heads. Jesus taught
us this early in His ministry…
Now when He was in
Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name when
they saw the signs which He did. 24 But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because
He knew all men,25 and had no need that anyone should testify of man,
for He knew what was in man.
People are very fickle. Remember many people cried “Hosanna!”
to Jesus at the beginning of the week and ended the week crying “Crucify Him!”
So. don’t feel to guilty for feeling the need for
affirmation sometimes. Don’t let it go to your head when you get it. And, don’t
feel like God doesn’t value you when you don’t.
I know some of you are thinking, “What are you talking about preacher?”
Whether they admit it or not, everyone wants good sex. Well here’s the thing…God knows that.
He made us that way.
That’s why he created the desire. He created our bodies to attract one another, and most importantly, He created Godly marriage between a man and woman, so that we can enjoy good sex.
GODLY SEX IS SEX BETWEEN A MARRIED MAN AND WOMAN
Matthew 19:4-6 (NKJV)
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made[a]them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’[b]5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?[c]6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
The fact that the enemy knows how much people crave good sex is why it has been such a powerful weapon for him throughout the ages. If the enemy can use it to be stumbling block to a man after God’s own heart like King David (2 Samuel Chapter 11), then we know it can be a stumbling block to any of us.
Sex is ordained by God, and the enemy has always manipulated situations to pervert what was meant to be Holy.
Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV)
4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
He has perverted it through tempting God’s children through…
The Strip Club…
And the list can go on and on.
OUR SEXUAL DESIRE IS INNATE, BUT GOD ONLY PERMITS US TO FULFILL IT ONLY AS ORDAINED BY HIM.
Just because someone naturally has an unquenchable desire for the opposite sex does not mean it’s okay to fulfill it with as many people who will agree to sleep with them.
Just because someone naturally has a desire for his or her own sex does not mean that it’s okay for them to sleep with someone of their own sex.
Just because someone’s spouse is not fulfilling their marital ‘duty’ does not give them an excuse to step outside of their marriage.
I think any couple that engaged in premarital sex, but then married will agree that the best sex is when they have made it ‘legal in the eyes of God’.
There’s no greater satisfaction that when two married people are not just connected physically, but also connected mentally, emotionally and most of all spiritually.
Here are just a few verses stating what the bible has to say about good, godly sex…
18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.
Song of Solomon 1:2(NKJV)
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—For your[b] love is better than wine.
Song of Solomon 4:9-11 (NKJV)
9 You have ravished my heart, My sister, my spouse; You have ravished my heart With one look of your eyes, With one link of your necklace. 10 How fair is your love, My sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, And the scent of your perfumes Than all spices! 11 Your lips, O my spouse, Drip as the honeycomb; Honey and milk are under your tongue; And the fragrance of your garments Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
Song of Solomon 5:16 (NKJV)
16 His mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, And this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!
Whew! That’s the Word!
Not only is there nothing WRONG with a little wine, music and romance between a husband and wife – it is absolutely RIGHT!
Yes, there are seasons when married people are not always on the same page sexually, but that’s why sex is spiritual and holy. Notice what God advises us through the apostle Paul…
1 Corinthians 7:4-5 (NKJV)
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
So, if you are engaging in sex that is not ordained by God…
No matter how much they make your toes curl…
No matter how intense the climax…
No matter how much you look forward to seeing them again…
No matter how good they look, feel or smell…
No matter how you choose to excuse it…
It is unholy, ungodly, unethical, immoral, rejected by God and puts you at risk to go to Hell.
NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT FEELS, IF IT’S NOT GODLY IT’S NOT GOOD
But, when you know that both of you are enjoying one another within the will of God, your intimate time together can be good through 10 – 20 – 30 – 40 – 50 years of marriage and beyond.
Remember, even though his wife Sarah suggested it, Abraham’s sex with Hagar was not ordained by God, and it led to bitterness and trouble in his marriage. But, once He and Sarah believed God’s promise of a son in their old age, they saw pleasure again as they did in their youth…
Genesis 18:12-14 (NKJV)
12 Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?”
13 And the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I surely bear a child, since I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.”