
We all have them in our livesโฆpeople that we just donโt like, or who don’t like us.
Theyโre in our familiesโฆon our jobsโฆin our churchesโฆwe see them on televisionโฆsometimes weโre even married to them.
We may or may not know them, and they may or may not know us.
It could be that you used to be very close, but something happened.
You changed.
They changed.
Life happened and you reacted to it differently.
It could be that you have opposing views on a cause that is near and dear to your heart.
Sometimes you donโt even know why. It could be something very subtle.
Have you ever found yourself saying this?
“I donโt know why, but I just donโt like ___________.โ
Or,
Thereโs something about ____________ that I just donโt like.
We may not like the way they lookโฆthe way they behaveโฆthe way they treat othersโฆthey may have even mistreated us or someone we love.
Stop right now and take a moment to think about the people who you donโt like.
Be careful, because… DON’T LIKE can lead to HATE.
Or, sometimes, DON’T LIKE is actually HATE in denial.
We all know that God commands that we love everyone, just as He loves everyone. In fact, He goes so far as to tell us to love our neighbor as ourselvesโฆand defines a neighbor in the Parable of the Good Samaritanโฆ
Luke 10:25-37 (NKJV)
ย 25ย And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, โTeacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?โย 26ย He said to him,ย โWhat is written in the law? What is your readingย of it?โย 27ย So he answered and said, โย โYou shall love the Lordย your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,โ[h]ย andย โyour neighbor as yourself.โโ[i]ย 28ย And He said to him,ย โYou have answered rightly; do this and you will live.โย 29ย But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, โAND WHO IS MY NEIGHBOR?โย 30ย Then Jesus answered and said:ย โA certainย manย went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, woundedย him,and departed, leavingย himย half dead.ย 31ย Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.32ย Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side.ย 33ย But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion.ย 34ย So he went toย himย and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him.ย 35ย On the next day, when he departed,[j]ย he took out two denarii, gaveย themย to the innkeeper, and said to him, โTake care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.โย 36ย So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?โย 37ย And he said, โHe who showed mercy on him.โย Then Jesus said to him,ย โGO AND DO LIKEWISE.โ
Jesus chose this example because, as most of you know, the Jews and Samaritans DID NOT like each other. Some say that they hated one another, and through that context He gives us His expectation for us.
God already knew when He commanded that we love one another that we wouldโฆ
Have opposing viewsโฆ
Hurt one anotherโฆ
Betray one anotherโฆ
Abuse one anotherโฆ
Sometimes be innocent victimsโฆ
But, still He said love EVERYONE!
How do we do that?
Here are a few suggestions to help you love someone you don’t like…
REMEMBER THEYโRE GODโS CHILD TOO
We were all created in the image of Almighty God. Jesus died for all of our sins, in fact the bible saysโฆ
2 Peter 3:9 (NKJV)
9ย The Lord is not slack concerningย Hisย promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us,[a]ย not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
Notice what King David said after he had Uriah killed so that he could have his wifeโฆ
Psalm 51:4 (NKJV)
4ย Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And doneย thisย evil in Your sightโThat You may be found just when You speak,[a]
Andย blameless when You judge.
When someone hurts youโฆthey are transgressing Godโs commandment to love everyone, so they are hurting God 1st.
Always remember that GOD DOESNโT LOVE YOUR ENEMY ANY LESS THAN HE LOVES YOU! Just because we donโt like someone, doesnโt mean that God doesnโt love them.
Even though they wonโt, He wants everyone to accept Him and be saved. As they brutally crucified Jesus, He lovingly said, โFather forgive them, for they know not what they doโ (Luke 23:34)
DO SOMETHING KIND FOR THEM
One of the most powerful things you can do for someone who you donโt like, or for someone who doesnโt like you is to make a conscious effort to be KIND to them.
Kindness is a Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22,23). Being KIND and NICE are two different things…ย Click here to find out more about Kind vs Nice)
You can be NICE to someone who you hate. You can be NICE to someone while positioning yourself to stab them in the back.
Being kind to someone is LOVE IN ACTION. Itโs doing whatโs best for them in spite of how you feel about them, or how they feel about you. Itโs doing whatโs best for them even if itโs unpleasant or uncomfortable for you are them.
Just as in the Parable of the Good Samaritan, being kind to someone you donโt like forces you into showing them love. It plants a seed of Godโs love into them and anyone else who may witness the kindness.
Kindness is exercising your love muscle. It allows you the opportunity to not only see them as God sees them, but to act towards them as God does towards us when we hurt Him.
ย YOU CAN LOVE THE PERSON AND HATE THE BEHAVIOR
Do you think that God loves all of our behavior? Of course not. He hates sinโฆand we all sin.
God hates sin, but loves the sinnerโฆand thatโs what He expects us to do. When we accept Jesus and repent of our sins, Heโฆ
Propitiates our sinsโฆcovers or atones for them. (1 John 2:2)
And,
Justifies usโฆor counts us as being righteous. (Romans 5:1)
And, even those who have not accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior are recipients of His mercy He loves enough to withhold His wrath even though He doesnโt LIKE their behavior. (Luke 6:36)
God expects us to look past the sin and love the person that He made in His image. Is it easy? No! But, thatโs where Philippians 4:13 is most powerfulโฆ
Philippians 4:13(NKJV)
13ย I can do all things through Christ[a]ย who strengthens me.
ย Just as God does, we can learn to love the person and hate the behavior.
We can love them, and dislike how the are.
FIND SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH THEM
Another way that you can find it within yourself to love someone who you donโt like is to find something that you have in common with them.
The key to conflict resolution is finding common ground. We all have and will sin. We all have to die one day. We all want to be happy. We all want to be valued.
Look at what the apostle Paul did to reach others for Christโฆ
1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (NKJV)
19ย For though I am free from allย men,ย I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more;ย 20ย and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to thoseย who areย under the law, as under the law,[a]ย that I might win thoseย who areย under the law;ย 21ย to thoseย who areย without law, as without law (not being without law toward God,[b]ย but under law toward Christ[c]), that I might win thoseย who areย without law;ย 22ย to the weak I became as[d]ย weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to allย men,ย that I might by all means save some.ย 23ย Now this I do for the gospelโs sake, that I may be partaker of it withย you.
We all have more in common than we may think. Sometimes when we donโt like someone, we donโt want to see what we have in common with them.
Finding something in common with them is a way to see yourself in themโฆhence, โLove your neighbor as yourselfโ.
ย REMEMBER THAT SOMETIMES, YOUโRE THE PERSON SOMEONE DOESNโT LIKE
When weโre honest with ourselvesโฆsometimes we are that person that someone doesnโt like. Not only that, sometimes we have given them a GOOD reason to โnot like usโ.
Lastly, remember thisโฆWhen we judge that someone deserves to โnot be likedโ, we are placing that same judgment on ourselvesโฆ
Matthew 7:1-2 (NKJV)
Do Not Judge
7ย โJudge not, that you be not judged.ย 2ย For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
Notice that I didnโt try to convince you to like anyone. Just learn to love them through what you dislike about them.
BE BLESSTIFIED!