Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you will never think about what they did to you anymore.
It doesn’t mean that you won’t hurt when it crosses your mind.
Forgiveness means that you won’t condemn them anymore for what they did. It means that you no longer want to get even, or see them ‘get what they deserve’ for what they did.
Forgiveness means you want them free from the guilt of what they did. But, that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t hurt or make you angry when you think about it. Especially if it’s someone who you truly love.
Yes, the bible says that when God forgives us that He forgets our iniquities and remembers them no more…
Hebrews 10:16-17 (NKJV)
16 “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,” 17 then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”
Micah 7:18-19 (NKJV)
18 Who is a God like You,
And passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage?
He does not retain His anger forever,
Because He delights in mercy.[a]
19 He will again have compassion on us,
And will subdue our iniquities.
You will cast all [b]our sins
Into the depths of the sea.
But, do you think that means that God no longer knows what we did? Of course not. If our All-Powerful God can no longer remember something that we can remember, that gives us more power than Him in that area.
When God forgives ‘and forgets’ it means that He no longer condemns us for that sin as long as we have truly repented. Notice that God would often remind Israel of the sins He had forgiven when they backslid because their repentance wasn’t real.
Do you think that when the Apostle Paul said, “forgetting those things which are behind…” that he meant he could no longer remember how he persecuted the church? No. It means he no longer let those thoughts rule him or influence his future.
Philippians 3:13 (NKJV)
13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have [a]apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
So don’t beat yourself up because you still feel pain or occasional anger over something that you have forgiven. Just don’t linger on those thoughts. Remember, forgiveness is a continual process. You will continue to forgive ‘them’ in your mind over and over again.
The key is that they never know it.