Has anyone ever questioned your love for them based on what you’ve done or haven’t done? Based on what you’re doing or aren’t doing? Based on what someone else has done or hasn’t done? Based on what someone else is doing or isn’t doing?
It hurts when you know what’s in your heart and someone questions it or challenges it.
It’s important to remember that saying what’s in someone’s heart is judging. Be careful when you judge what’s in someone’s heart, because when you do you’re opening the door for someone to do the same thing to you.
Matthew 7:1-2 (NKJV)
“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
You know what you feel…your level of devotion…your level of sacrifice. And, based on their perspective they question your love.
But, before you get too upset at someone for questioning your love there are three things that you should do.
1. ASK YOURSELF ARE THEY RIGHT
Many times it stings when people question our love…our devotion…our loyalty. But, before we get too upset we must ask ourselves have we given them a good reason to feel that way. Even though you may not agree with their reasoning. They feel the way they feel and there’s not much you can go about it. Sometimes people can be unfair, but sometimes they may be right. What have you done to hurt them? What have you not done to be in their corner. These are questions that we must ask ourselves. We must make and effort to see things from their perspective. Even if you say, “Well, I don’t see why you should feel that way” or “I don’t see it that way”…remember, they aren’t you. Just because your love ‘failed’ in one area doesn’t mean you don’t love them…but it did fail.
2. ASK YOURSELF HAVE YOU QUESTIONED GOD’S LOVE
Have you questioned whether God really loves you? Whether He really cares about you? Whether He really hears your prayers or sees your pain? Have you done this?
God proved His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, while we were His enemies…He gave us His only son.
We must realize that just because we let each other down, that doesn’t mean live is absent…it just means our love isn’t perfect.
Maturing in love is a lifelong process, and even if we live to be 100 years old, we will die with our love imperfect.
Only God’s love perfect. In fact, I think He allows us to let each other down from time-to-time to remind us that ONLY His love is perfect.
3. SINCERELY PRAY FOR THEM
Yes, you should first ask yourself if they are right – but if they’re wrong… If they are unfairly judging you… it’s easy to become angry and defensive. Think about Job’s friends who went to comfort him, but instead relentlessly questioned and blamed him for his calamity. They questioned his devotion and true love for God. We all know that God restored to Job everything that he lost, but only AFTER he prayed for those who contended against him…
Job 42:10 (NKJV)
And the Lord restored Job’s losses[a] when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before
Remember when someone questions your love for them, how you react is how you prove it.