Can you tell the difference between a REASON and an EXCUSE?
I was recently in a situation where I was at fault. I was angry, and said something hurtful that I shouldn’t have…

When asked, “How could you say that?” “Why did you say that?” I responded…

“I was angry, I got defensive and I lashed out.”

I was also in a situation in my office where I overlooked something very important, and was asked by my Director at the time, “Why did this happen?” I responded…

“I was really busy and just missed it”.

The above situations involved two different people, but I got the same response both times, a response that I have made myself. The response was…

“That’s not an EXCUSE!”

Again, my response was the same both times…

“ I didn’t say it was an EXCUSE, but it IS the REASON that I did it.”

God invites us in His word to come and reason with Him…

Isaiah 1:18 (NKJV)

 ¹⁸ “Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool.

If God is willing to reason with us, we should be willing to reason with one another, but that involves good communication and a willingness to accept what the other person has to say.

One tool in reasoning together is learning the difference between a REASON and an EXCUSE. It’s inevitable that we will hurt one another from time to time…especially those we love. But, one way to diffuse the disagreement is learning to EXPRESS and ACCEPT the REASONS we do or say things rather than EXCUSES.

My answers above were REASONS…

I was angry…

I was defensive…

I was careless…

I was foolish…

I was inconsiderate…

I felt rushed…

I was unprepared…

I was embarrassed…

I was immature…

I didn’t care enough…

These are all examples of REASONS we might make mistakes or hurt one another.

Here are some examples of EXCUSES…

I’m only human…

Everyone else did it…

I’m just a man (or woman)…

I couldn’t help myself…

You get the picture?

Sometimes people take our REASONS for EXCUSES. Sometimes we try to pass off EXCUSES as REASONS.

We’ll find ourselves on both sides of this discussion so…

Learning the difference between both can help diffuse our arguments, differences, disagreements and help us move on to resolution.

BE BLESSTIFIED!

 

 

 

 

Life can take us down some different and difficult roads. Some roads we choose, and some we don’t. Sometimes CRAZY things is our lives, especially our relationships. We sometimes selfishly, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally do things that hurt others who are in relationship with us…sometimes it’s something we feel we ‘can’t come from’ or ‘can’t get past’.

If this is you, I have good news today. God has given you the power to GET PAST ANYTHING. God has given you the power, that despite what happened, life can be EVEN BETTER. Now, I don’t want to be insensitive to what you have gone through, I’m just sharing God’s truth. The key is really simple…it’s true forgiveness. The key to forgiveness is the day we make up our mind, “I don’t WANT that to bother me anymore.”

We sometimes hold on to our pain, resentment, rage, grudge because it can make us feel stronger in regard to a situation that made us feel vulnerable and weak.

Some people don’t forgive because it takes away their excuse to be angry.

This may sound oversimplified, but the key is forgiving someone else is telling yourself, I’m tired of surrendering my peace to this, and I DON’T WANT TO BE ANGRY ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.

The power is changing how you think of the situation, renewing your mind as in Romans 12:2…

Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

When this happens, something miraculous happens in your spirit…suddenly thinking of it doesn’t make you feel the same.

Ephesians 4:31.32 let’s us know it’s our responsibility to ” Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. He also told us to be willing to continue to forgive (Matthew 18:21-22).

Matthew 18:21-22

21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

God expects us to forgive as He forgives us (Ephesians 4:32)…

Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

That’s the awesome power of true forgiveness! Once you truly forgive, you have tapped into God’s power to free yourself from the pain of the situation. God is very clear here and throughout scripture that it’s our responsibility. If it’s our responsibility, then He has given us the power to do it.

I love 2 Peter 1:3 which proclaims…

2 Peter 1:3

3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue.

God has given us everything we need to accomplish what He requires of us. So, no matter what happens in your relationships, if you choose to continue those relationships (as God chooses to do when He forgives us), yes things may not ever be he same. Your relationship may not be innocent anymore (as yours with God isn’t), someone may have betrayed you in a way that some say is unforgivable (as we all done with God), someone may have put you to open shame (as we do God) and yes things won’t be THE SAME but when you make up your mind to forgive, and focus on the joy of the relationship and build new memories to replace the old ones, even though THINGS WON’T EVER BE THE SAME, THEY CAN STILL BE BETTER.

BE BLESSTIFIED!!!